Self Destruct

I keep having brushes with panic attacks. And something that I’m finally calling depression because no one has PMS for 18 months straight. In large part, this seems to be because I don’t feel like I can catch up with my life. So many times I feel like I’m turning around and around, again and again, and every time I do, I’m just facing another brick wall. Because nothing I do is good enough. Nothing I’ll ever do will ever be good enough, I’ll never measure up to the people I admire, I’ll never really be good at anything, I’m just going to be overlooked forever.

The hell of it is, I think I’m doing this to myself. I think it’s in large part because of things I’m manufacturing in my head, things that I’m either completely fabricating out of nothing, or that I’m grossly blowing out of proportion, to an extent that the issue just becomes unrecognizable.

Am I being convoluted yet?


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